Exposing a fear as a lie makes us freer.
Are you up for challenging one of your fears this week?
"Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears." Rudyard Kipling
Wouldn’t it be really cool to discover that the vaste majority of our fears are liars?
Wouldn’t it be really cool to live a life knowing that we don’t have to be frightened of our fears?
I’m dancing inside already at that thought!
Our psychological fears rob us of our authenticity, our heart and our true power.
These fears arise from imagined or anticipated threats ie they are not real. They are based on our unexamined assumptions, our minds future projections and our beliefs born of the past. They are like phantoms we carry around inside of us believing that they’re real and valid.
Our psychological fears come in many guises.
Don’t speak up right now you may sound stupid.
Just say “yes” (even when you know you’re already swamped).
Saying “no” will get you into trouble.
Don’t let them see you haven’t got a clue what you’re doing.
If they really knew the real you….
Just conform and be safe.
What are some of your habitual psychological fears that limit and hurt you?
This weeks invitation = Choose one fear and expose it as a lie.
I’m inviting you to challenge one fear that you’re fed up with and feel ready to be done with. NB it doesn’t have to be a huge fear - small is just as good - it’s about building the muscle.
You can go for low hanging fruit like practising saying the word “no” a hundred times into a mirror or getting your (friendly) colleagues to make you say “no” as many times as possible. And then stretching into saying “No” in a meeting where you’d normally be vague and end up being a "yes”. If it feels right go after a bigger fear.
Once you expose one fear as a lie you’ll feel emboldened to go after others.
Steps for this weeks challenge:
Don’t skip the first two steps because they’re designed to fuel your inner fire for change and give you reasons for keeping going during the week.
Choose one fear you want to go after this week - write it down.
Write down why you want to challenge this particular fear (what it costs you) and the benefits to you of discovering that it’s actually a lie.
Look at your schedule and highlight where the opportunities are for you to challenge this fear.
Tell someone you trust what you’re doing - accountability really helps. They may even join you in their own challenge.
Go for it - experiment - see what happens - keep chipping away at it. You can’t get it wrong (another psychological fear many of us have).
Celebrate all wins no matter how small and be gentle on yourself when you “think” you’re failing including when you are feeling fear about confronting fear.
Capturing learnings along the way:
Notice what happens in the moments when pierce the lie of your fear?
What’s it like? What happens to you?
What do you discover?
Friday eve - write down what you’ve discovered about fear and what you want to remember. You may decide to continue next week.
Have fun and trust yourself!
Every time you challenge your fear and pierce the lie you become freer.
I’d love to hear which fear you’re going after and what you’ve discovered at the end of the week.
My "exposing fear as a liar" challenge this week =
I'm going after having what my mind imagines are difficult conversations. When I spoke my truth as a young child I got into trouble so I stopped talking and internalised my truth instead.
Consequently I never became skilled or comfortable at having what my mind deemed to be "difficult' conversations where at some level I feel at risk. In many other people's worlds these are just normal frank conversations you have. Though I suspect those of us who are high sensory tend to find them more difficult because we "feel" it more.
I've a couple of these conversations that I've been putting off for months this week so here goes.....
This is great and I really appreciate the framework you’ve provided - one to use on my own clients!
Something that is really holding me back is fear of being seen/visible (beneath that… fear of being abandoned/rejected/unwanted?). My challenge for myself - as a starter for ten! - is to post a video on my socials by the end of the week.