Having a mushy brain helps you see more deeply
What if brain fog can be a portal to deeper wisdom?
If my mind were a building right now this image would be a perfect representation!
In fact, I’m not sure if my brain is as structurally intact as this at the moment lol
The gift of an unexpected injury and spontaneous five day fast
Last week I managed to have an altercation with a metal trolley at our local garden centre which meant I ended up with a damaged left knee.
That meant no exercising for me this week.
However, this empty space in my calendar meant that I could now do the 5 day fast which I’d been “vaguely” planning for a few months.
Today I’m on day 3 of 5. I feel tired and spacey.
It’s like my mind is floating up in the ether somewhere. Its focus is limited to things like ensuring my water successfully gets into my mouth or remembering to check before I cross the road.
Otherwise, the ability to focus, think clearly, use my rational thinking mind is offline at the moment.
That feels part scary, part woozy and part really dreamy - I expect that’s also the repair work that’s going on in the body right now due to the fast.
Fortunately, I’ve nothing important to do this week so it’s perfect.
What if brain fog isn’t always a problem?
We’ve been conditioned to rely so heavily on our rational minds that when we experience brain fog we rush to try to fix it.
We effort, we focus harder, we try to think our way clear - even though that’s the part that’s fog-bound in the first place!
Even in my minds spaciness I briefly caught myself thinking:
“What if my mind never clears again?”
“What if I can’t think straight soon (or ever)?”
“What if this is the start of my mind “going”?”
My mind likes to catastrophize.
I should probably admire its creativity, but I’m the one who suffers the consequences of this thinking. Right?
You too? Or am I the only fruitcake?
With my rational minds capacity hovering around 20% (it could be less!), I notice that naturally and effortlessly my intuitive mind takes over.
Mental boundaries are blurred. Emotions are experienced as mild undercurrents.
There’s just an “Is-ness” - a felt sense of simply Being.
My mind tries to freak out about this and fortunately today there’s not enough spare energy for it to succeed.
Funnily enough, in this gentle space the heart emerges and there’s a softness of being.
Just life being as is in this moment.
The sacred gift
With my rational mind quiet and my intuitive mind firmly in the drivers seat, I feel myself falling back into not knowing - like a nothingness.
It’s like falling into a big comfy sofa that catches me and cushions me.
There’s an invitation to just rest….to be quiet…...to let life be including any fog.
In this stillness there’s a natural portal for wisdom and knowing to emerge.
This knowing doesn’t come from my head, it rises from the heart and even more deeply, from the belly.
It’s always there, yet we usually ignore it or can’t connect with it due to our noisy minds.
As Einstein once said:
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant.
We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift.”
A simple yet revealing journaling exploration
To avoid falling asleep by noon (!) I decide to go to a lovely place called Malverleys near where I live to have a decaf coffee.
Fortunately it’s quiet and I find a big squishy chair in a private space - this is one of my views.
Intuitively I’ve brought my journal with me even though I haven’t journaled properly in eons.
As it’s Day 3 of the fast the bulk of my energy is doing a lot of repairing and healing in the background so all I can do is sit, wait and receive whatever comes to me.
And ,all of a sudden, it occurs to me to be curious and the question arises:
What do I REALLY deep down at this stage in my life?
The blessing of having a mushy mind and tiredness is that I can’t think nor figure out smart answers to this question.
So I take my journal and start:
Page 1: What do I really want?
Page 2: What’s a maybe/kinda nice?
Page 3: What do I definitely not want?
Historically, I tend to be one of those people who can fill in page 3 really easily and quickly. How about you?
But even in the “don’t wants'“, the opposite ie the “wants” can be seen or sensed.
Page 2 the “maybes” are usually the trickiest ones for me as they can seem so sensible and alluring.
But do they really make my heart sing? Rarely.
I have to stay really firm with watching what has enough energy or genuine pull to make it solid yes for Page 1 “What do I really want”.
Here are some of the things that came through for me:
Page 1 - What do I really want?
Fun, adventure, aliveness and connection
Ability to travel and explore new parts of the world
Health and vitality (wouldn’t have made my list 5 years ago!)
New wicked friendships
Deep enriching relationships that elevate us all
Living where people look after each other, look out for each other, love each other (also wouldn’t have made my list even a couple of years ago - shows you I’m getting old!)
Etc…..
Page 2: What’s a maybe/kinda nice?
“Working” unclear, no specifics
Living abroad
Selling our house and downsizing so we could give our kids a chunk of money now
A year travelling around the world
Etc……..
Page 3: What I definitely don’t want?
Living in a country where I feel unsafe and where my hard earned money is taxed to death by inept politicians (cuts out a lot of the world!)
Feeling unsafe walking home especially at night
Being put on the scrap heap and deemed an “old” person without value
Ill health
A bland life
Being drugged to be a compliant zombie in an old people’s home
Living somewhere I hate surrounded by loud, aggressive and insensitive people
Etc……….
Isn’t it interesting how each list has such a different energy?
Page 1: Brings a big smile to my face and an inner glow. I’ve a cheeky grin too. Life is about playing.
Page 2: Heady, sensible and makes me feel sleepy. Life is about being sensible (snore!)
Page 3: Fear, safety and control. Makes me go tight and defensive. Life isn’t a playground, it’s more like a prison to survive.
The portal in the fog
Because my mind was mush:
I was able to simply receive answers coming from my intuitive mind
There wasn’t a constant stream of mental interference to contend with
I could see and feel into my truth at a much deeper level
It was easy, illuminating and effortless because my mind just couldn’t be involved
There’s a gift in brain fog - one we’re rarely taught to recognise.
What if that fog, that supposedly unproductive state, can actually be a doorway to your inner wisdom?
What if it’s helpful not to have mental clarity in those moments?
I was amazed at how much came through to me thanks to my mushy brain.
Here’s the really cool part - it was effortless and easy.
My invitation to you……
I dare you the next time your mind tells you you’ve mental fog and shouldn’t (!), that instead of resisting it, you pause for a moment, quieten within, just soften and see what comes to you.
If it feels like a fun, try the same journalling experiment when your brain feels mushy, floating about or “offline”.
Just three simple pages (one page per question):
What do I really want?
What’s a maybe/kinda nice?
What do I definitely not want"?
Tuning into your intuitive mind is like rebuilding a muscle. The more you do it, the more natural and easy it becomes.
Bonus - share the want that has the most energy for you on your page 1.
So embrace that brain fog - there’s a gift in it if you allow it!
As ever, have fun!
With love,
Alison