The heart of leadership: Rediscovering your true Self

In a world that often asks us to be everything except ourselves, there is a fundamental truth that never changes: the most powerful thing we can be is exactly who we are.

When I reflect upon my last 25 years as a coach to corporate leaders that’s always been the outcome I’ve most wanted for them.

It’s a core level thing from which everything else blossoms or bursts forth - I guess I would call it them having their “heart”.

Yes my clients are successful professional people and yet when they come to me they often believe they need to be different than who they are to succeed.

They’ve been indoctrinated into the “should” game: should be better at x,y,z or should be more confident/less confident. The list is often quite long and confusing to them.

Made worse by the fact that they are their own harshest critics.

Sadly, the majority are not used to having someone, like me, in their lives who automatically sees their inner magic; who sees the gift they’re here to bring the world beyond their job description; who sees their truth and wisdom.

So from my perspective our time together is “successful” when:

• they leave me knowing their true selves at a deep unwavering level.

• they’ve moved from shoulds to self-acceptance.

• they leave me feeling grateful for who they truly are and what they uniquely and naturally are here to bring to the world.

• they leave reconnected to their inner treasure trove of wisdom, creativity and peace.

• they shine more brightly and take life more lightly.

They have their heart - their way.

Then things like leadership etc take care of themselves. They may have certain skills to learn but these are now built of the bedrock of the truth of their Being and knowing not on the shaky foundations of inadequacy or fear.

This journey of rediscovery and reconnection at first often feels like being lost in a forest.

As Becky Helmsley says “sometimes we have to get lost to find ourselves again.”

Yet being lost is an inherent part of the Self discovery journey.

When we become really lost it forces us to give up because all of our striving, our efforting, our trying to control obviously isn’t working and we’re now exhausted.

We finally surrender.

The truth is it’s in the quiet spaces that we find ourselves again.

This poem by Becky beautifully captures the journey from the “shoulds” of the world to that moment when we stop striving….when we pause……when we breathe….when the stillness brings us home.

Breathe by Becky Helmsley

she sat at the back
and they said she was shy
she led from the front
and they hated her pride

they asked her advice
and then questioned her guidance
they branded her loud
then were shocked by her silence

when she shared no ambition
they said it was sad
so she told them her dreams
and they said she was mad

they told her they’d listen
then covered their ears
and gave her a hug
whilst they laughed at her fears

and she listened to all of it
thinking she should
be the girl they told her to be
best as she could

but one day she asked
what was best for herself
instead of trying
to please everyone else

so she walked to the forest
and stood with the trees
she heard the wind whisper
and dance with the leaves

and she spoke to the willow
the elm and the pine
and she told them what
she'd been told time after time

she told them she never
felt nearly enough
she was either too little
or far, far too much

too loud or too quiet
too fierce or too weak
too wise or too foolish
too bold or too meek

then she found a small clearing
surrounded by firs
and she stopped and she heard
what the trees said to her

and she sat there for hours
not wanting to leave
for the forest said nothing....
it just let her breathe

Do you recognise this journey in yourself?

I have to admit I cry when I read this everytime as it speaks to my own journey from “shoulds” to “Self”.

It’s a call to be true to yourself, your magnificence, your divine essence and not what the herd is wanting you to be.

My invitation to you

Just as the trees held space for her, will you choose to hold space for yourself so you can pause, go within and be still?

In the stillness you can let go of all the expectations and shoulds of the world and allow yourself to have your heart again.

Because it’s in stillness that you rediscover your true Self and your true power.