When £5 million isn’t enough — AND Life might cash you out first
Is £5m enough?
I recently came across an article in a financial publication where a couple in their 50s were asking if their £5 million pension pot and savings would be enough for them to retire on.
Yes — £5 million (US$6.75m).
Nor did they sound like they lived a lavish lifestyle.
It sounded like upper middle class “normal” eg no Ferraris but probably a nice Mercedes; business class travel but not first class; nice holidays and good restaurants.
Chances are, their mortgage was mostly or completely paid off. They sounded financially savvy. So it seemed really weird to me that they were writing to a financial publication.
Not least because a financial journalist who’s still working isn’t probably worth £5m themselves. Right?
They weren’t asking about tax or estate planning. They just wanted to know:
Can we retire now? Is our £5m enough?
Clearly, some part of them was afraid it wasn’t.
Would they have felt safer with £6 million? £10 million?
Don’t get me wrong — I admire them for being financially successful. They came across as sensible kind people.
But here’s the thing……..here’s the “illusion” about money (or any external material object for that matter).
They’d bought into the illusion that money makes you feel safe or secure.
It doesn’t.
At the very best the feeling is fleeting because the mind then swiftly moves onto making noise about how to keep it or not lose it or the responsibility of looking after it etc etc
Where’s that sense of safety now? Gone.
There will never be enough money to make you feel secure.
We’ve got that whole equation backwards.
Something outside of you can’t make you feel anything, you only THINK it can.
It’s this interloper (the mind) that creates this illusion - and it does sound so true right?
Of course having tonnes of money in a bank account would make us feel secure right?
Hmmmmm……..
When £600m+ isn’t enough
It reminds me of one of the wealthiest people I’ve ever met.
In our first conversation, he made sure I knew he was worth over £600 million.
Somewhat to his annoyance I didn’t take the bait and fawn all over him.
I was far more interested in connecting with the real him behind the image being presented to me.
What made him tick? What made him come alive?
What had been his journey to get here?
To his credit, he’d built a hugely successful business which had created his wealth.
But now, even though he was hungry for more success that same business was stressing him out.
What he really yearned for was a sense of inner peace.
That’s actually the true wealth we all yearn for.
That’s why he came to me.
The other thing that bothered him?
Wait for it……….
All his friends were billionaires, and he wasn’t!
So £600m+ wasn’t “enough”.
And so, therein lies the same game.
The “When I have X, then I’ll be Y” game.
The “When ……Then…..” game.
When I have “enough” money in the bank…
Then I’ll feel safe.
Then I’ll finally relax.
Then I’ll finally be enough.
What’s your version?
But that game never ends — and it never delivers.
There’s never enough.
I used to have the same thoughts.
My version was if I had “enough” (unspecified and arbitrary!) money in my bank then I would be safe, I could relax and be at peace.
Obviously having disposable income is a very different experience of life than being in debt. I’m not disputing that.
I’ve experienced both myself and I know which one I prefer.
Having money gives you choices obviously and here’s the thing…..
One day to my amazement, when I’d the most money I’d ever had in my bank account I noticed that I felt all anxious!
I’d to be careful to keep it. Probably I would never have so much again ya da ya da ya da
I didn’t feel peaceful at all!
Go figure.
A few years later, to my surprise, I noticed that I’d become neutral. I don’t know how.
I felt exactly the same if my bank balance was healthy or near empty.
I didn’t feel happy nor anxious.
It felt very strange and equally really freeing.
Money no longer owned me in terms of my inner peace or security.
Realisations from my own experience of financial highs and lows
No amount of money is ever truly enough as far as my mind is concerned.
It’s was an illusion to think that external wealth created my inner peace.
Generating wealth could be a beautiful part of human potential — an art, even.
But chasing “enough” through numbers alone had always ended up in me feeling disappointed and often with more problems than I’d started with.
Here’s the biggest risk - Life might cash you out first
A sudden heart attack which happened a dear friend of mine recently - fortunately he is still alive but has a long recovery time.
A cancer diagnosis from out of the blue.
Or simply playing it safe, playing the when/then game and never really living.
By all means accumulate wealth in its many forms.
Let yourself be well paid. Learn to grow your financial wealth - sadly they don’t teach us that at school!
But please don’t wait until the numbers “feel safe” before you let yourself live fully.
The people I’ve mentioned weren’t superhuman. They worked hard. They stuck at it. They went through plenty of trials and tribulations enroute.
Yes they’ve options most people can only dream of but if they did it we can all too.
Just let’s avoid the “never enough” and “when….then…..” traps.
You can’t buy true peace and happiness - fake versions yes - real versions no.
Peace and happiness are already within you. They’re your default settings.
More of that another day.
My invitation to you……
Explore your relationship with wealth especially financial wealth
What stories do you have about it?
How might you start challenging those stories assuming they’re limiting? Take small steps.
Here’s a fun thing to do - Mini Wealth/Money Visualisation
Audio Version:
Text Version:
Imagine wealth or money were a person of some description. See that in your minds eye. Money or wealth as a person.
What do they look like?
Are they tall or short? Fat or skinny?
What are they wearing?
Get a real sense of them.
For some of you it might be a snake! lol
Now imagine you’re at home in a row of houses and this person is walking down the street towards your house.
What do you naturally do?…………..
Put the champagne on ice, rush outside and welcome them in?
Run to the back of your house so it looks like you’re out?
Great them kindly but send them to someone else’s house? (my original response years ago!)
Get curious (and kind) about your relationship to financial wealth.
All limitations of any kind dim your light and restrict your freedom so….
As ever, have fun with it.
Let revelation come to you vs trying to figure this out.
With love,
Alison