When your life is full of roadblocks and nothing's working - be smart - give up
Get out of the way and let life carry you
This image is the perfect metaphor for how my life has felt for a while.
“WRONG WAY”!!
At least it doesn’t have “idiot” on the end.
There are times in our lives when it’s like we’re standing in an intersection and all the roads leading off it have this “Wrong Way” sign in the middle of them.
There’s no escape.
No road to distract yourself for a while.
You are forced to stop.
You are forced to wait.
You are forced to face the lies that bind you.
You are forced to give up.
Sometimes we experience mini versions of this and sometimes they’re major.
They signal a bigger foundational shift in our inner and outer worlds.
But our minds don’t like not knowing where we’re meant to be going - an entire industry has been built on us determining and achieving your goals so that we can be happy or enough or peaceful or………...
Fill in the blank for yourself……
However, when you’re destined for a major interruption to your life path or journey all roads get blocked off.
There are no escape routes.
If you’re anything like me (though you may be smarter!) you’ll hate this experience. You’ll resist it. Your mind will get very busy and noisy.
None of your old strategies will work anymore.
For me, at the moment, it’s like I’m sat in a car on a roundabout or in the middle of a large intersection and all the exits have “Wrong Way” roadblock signs erected.
So I’m sat there in my car with the engine idling.
It feels like I don’t even have enough energy or gas to stick my foot down and plough through one of the roadblocks just to escape (as I like to do!), just to at least go somewhere even if it’s the “wrong way”.
I’m not even sure if I’ve a gearbox that works to get into gear.
But when I look down each road (each way out) there’s no pull anymore which is soooo annoying as these have been my tried and tested routes through life eg
achieving eg sport or business or whatever
learning, developing, doing endless courses
spiritual teachings, teachers, books
travelling, adventure
even being still
It’s like that version of life is done - at least in their current incarnation.
I’m static and parked up for the time being.
It feels lifeless and at times pointless.
And yet this is clearly a major transition when all my old routes are cut off. It’s like someone’s ripping away my baby blanket and I’m clinging onto it for dear life!
Isn’t it funny how we’re conditioned to believe that we should “know”?
That somehow it’s within our remit to figure out our whole lives and what’s best for us at any given time?
Totally amazing things have arisen in my life 90% of which have been out of the blue/totally unexpected and truly magical eg
I wanted to play sport for Ireland and in my final year at school the first ever Irish schoolgirl team was announced and I was selected - my life’s dream fulfilled at 17 (I could happily have died and gone to heaven).
My degree in French and German somehow led me into banking - “by chance” I ended up working for the “Dog” who was a total maverick, visionary, genius and on every spectrum imaginable - oh the stories I could tell. Clinging onto his coattails sky rocketed my banking career.
I became a coach and at some point thought to myself that I’d quite like to do some coach training for fun. Two weeks following that thought I got a call from out of the blue inviting me to go to the Netherlands to deliver a coach training course with Sir John Whitmore (the father of modern day coaching). This is the equivalent of wanting to maybe play football (soccer) in a top league and next you’re invited to play alongside Messi!
My mind could never have dreamed these up let alone made them happen.
Yet despite countless examples such as these, the conditioning is so strong that I still watch myself falling into trying to figure things out especially if I find myself stuck or lost in life.
This quote always makes me laugh:
“The planets spin in their orbits, the sun shines, the flowers grow. All these things happen without confusion, without chaos, everything is unfolding as it should but you come along and want to change things.” Robert Adams
Guilty as charged governor!
So what to do?
As ever, luckily at some level I naturally turn to that timeless Truth that “Stillness Speaks.”
All answers lie within.
Quietening, withdrawing, going within…..Knowing awaits and never fails me.
I know deep down it’s a time to wait…it’s a time to cherish actually before the “new” appears….it’s a time to be alone with myself as this is a redefinition of the character called Alison.
What’s important in this next phase of this life - what speaks to me now not last year or last decade.
What moves me. What lights me up. What makes me smile.
Surprises await for sure!
My job is to notice what excites my spirit no matter how unusual or unexpected. To follow that….to be pulled by that.
I notice already that kindness has suddenly become really important to me. I’m drawn to having kind people in my life, gentle people, wise people.
You know the type of people that you can communicate with without the need to talk?
You’re automatically deeply connected and there’s no energy wasted in personality games?
This feels like the definitive shift from the achiever model to the self-expression model which I’ll write about some day.
Experiencing life from the Achiever Model vs the Self-Expression Model
If I’m in my idling car from within the achiever model, I’m going to get all agitated and anxious. I’ll definitely be impatient to know, to have a direction - to have certainty (equals security).
If I’m in my idling car (maybe it’s not idling) from within the self-expression model, I feel peaceful, curious, excited about what’s going to appear.
I’ve no clue what’s going to appear - that’s the joy and wonder of Life - this glorious adventure that we’ve been taught to control and bend to our will.
Yet at what cost?
At what cost to our aliveness?
At what cost to our sense of awe and connection?
At what cost to our Spirit?
How much more would we play and relish life?
“By replacing fear of the unknown with curiosity we open ourselves up to infinite stream of possibility. We can let fear rule our lives or we can become childlike with curiosity, pushing our boundaries, leaping out of our comfort zones and accepting what life puts before us.”
Alan Watts
Will we choose to accept what life puts before us?
Roadblocks and all?
Will I be curious, childlike and play with life or will I be imprisoned in my mind and try to determine my life?
Which one will be richer?
Which one will be more magical?
Today I choose to be more playful and childlike as I can take myself and life way to seriously!
How about you?
My invitation to you……
If you chose to be curious, childlike and playful this weekend what might that look like?
What might you get up to?
What would that give you?
As ever….have fun……
With love,
Alison
Fabulous writing, as always (and I love the image at the end). What comes up for me is how much can we sink into the ‘stuckness’ - really give ourselves over to it. What would happen then?
Thank you for writing. I love your reflection of being "drawn to having kind people in your life, gentle people, wise people."