You can never lose your true "Why"

Your true "Why" is a Being thing not a Doing thing

"The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. 

And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves." – Alan Watts

Last week, a wonderful man said to me “I’ve lost my why”.

It reminded me of when I started out on my journey of self-exploration one of the concepts I never resonated with was this idea of your purpose or your why in life.

I felt like a muppet every time I tried to figure mine out. I got zip - zilch - nada.

It just made no sense to me.

I felt embarrassed as everyone else seemed to have such certainty about their purpose, their why in the world.

My ego, not wishing to be seen as a fool, would make up various “why’s” but I never really felt the words deep down plus they kept changing.

This Alan Watts quote I do feel deep down.

What about you?

Btw I’m not asking your head.

Can you feel something in his words even if they don’t make sense to your intellect necessarily?

“The meaning of life is just to be alive. It’s so plain and so obvious and so simple.”

But we don’t tend to do simple these days do we?

Simplicity goes out the window when the mind rules the roost

We’re so mind dominant that everything has to be complex and complicated to have value. Right?

It reminds me of when I entered the consulting world delivering senior leadership development programmes, I couldn’t believe how complicated consulting language was for the most simple of things.

It was like the more complicated they could make something sound the more money they could charge for it! Bonkers.

So let’s stay with simple….

When your “why’s” are aligned you feel wonder and bliss

Over all the years in working with coaching clients I’ve come to recognise 3 levels of “Why”.

The first two are always in play whether we’re aware of them or not and the third varies during a lifetime.

Sometimes they’re all in a free flowing alignment.

That’s when you feel blissed out or fully expressing yourself naturally out in the world.

You’re playing full out without restriction - you feel epic, at ease, at one.

Sometimes when these are not aligned you’ll feel off or life will feel like a struggle no matter what you do.

I’ve tried to break these down as best I can to give you a flavour of each “level”.

3 Levels of Why:

1. Your why is to be alive - that’s it! Ultimately this is the only true, timeless and changeless why.

2. Your why is to be expressing your innate essence out into the world - this comes through your spirit and body ie Self-expression (capital S) in human form.

3. Your why is something you do in the world - this can be a reflection of your spirit but equally it can be a coping mechanism of the separate self or ego.

The reason I’m chopping it up like this is so that you may start to become more aware of how you are living each in real-time - because you are - even as you read this.

Obviously you are alive at least! lol

When all 3 are in alignment it’s heaven.

We’ll return to No.1 later….…let’s now explore No.2

Your “Why” is to be Self-Expressing - it’s a “being” thing not a “doing” thing

Look at these sunflowers…can they be anything other than wonderful sunflowers?

They shine and uplift our spirit. They’re being their “why” ie to be alive as sunflowers.

They’re not running around in a panic trying to become roses or oak trees or pineapples are they?

They’re sunflowers……. Their true nature is to rise up tall, to be bold, vibrant, strong and to shine in the world.

All humans have an innate essence that wants to express itself in the world

When I meet someone new, especially if it’s a new client, I’m immediately honing in on their inner being to sense their essence, to meet their spirit…their aliveness.

That’s where the gold lies for me. I’m not too fussed about the persona they’re presenting to me.

I’m after their essence. I’m after life’s why expressing itself through that unique human being in front of me.

This unique, amazing, interesting expression of spirit.

I can’t wait to connect with their essence.

What essence walks into a room with you?

Have you ever experienced someone walking into a room and suddenly the room quietens and people calm down even if this person doesn’t do anything?

Or you’re in a boring room and someone walks in and all of a sudden it’s like the lights go on and the room comes alive again without them having done anything specific to create that?

Or someone who walks in and kindness is there?

Or peacefulness or….. integrity or….. fun or….compassion or ….rigour or….inspiration?

This is what they’re here to be in the world.

This is their innate “why” - they can’t lose it - they can’t not be it fundamentally.

We have this hard candy in the UK called Brighton Rock. It’s excellent for breaking your teeth!

Inside the candy stick the whole way down there will be a single word that keeps being repeated no matter where you cut the candy open.

What if you were to consider all these candy sticks as human beings each with their own unique signature word or essence weaving itself throughout.

Or think about some specific people in your life…………what do they innately bring when they walk into a room just by their being?

Just because it’s them and not someone else?

What’s the word that weaves itself through their Brighton Rock?

It’s there deep down……….and always will be there as long as they’re in human form.

Can you also see that this innate why precedes any doing?

The why of being alive and the human why of expressing essence then can take form in the physical world as doing, as action…as creation.

And now to No.3

Your inner why then expresses itself out in the world in a myriad of ways

Someone whose innate essence is kindness could express itself by being a nurse or a therapist or a servant leader etc.

Or someone whose innate essence is beauty could express this in creating beautiful art or music or house interiors etc

Or someone whose innate essence is truth could end up expressing that in challenging dogma, standing up for what’s right and just or daring to speak what needs to be said.

With each of these essences you could end up doing all the expressions of them out in the world right?

For example I’ve a friend whose essence is beauty and it’s specifically linked to flowers in her world.

She’s expressed this as initially being drawn to drawing flowers, then it was painting flowers and now she runs a massive community where they all grow flowers together worldwide.

Can you see how this plays out ie from being into doing?

You have been expressing your innate essence your whole life

It’s a golden thread or vein that is always present beneath the surface regardless of whatever you’re doing or creating in the physical world.

The expression of your why changes throughout your life but your fundamental why itself is changeless.

Humanity’s why

What if the why of humanity is just to be alive and to create?

At it’s most fundamental every human being is a unique creation with an essence (life’s why) that endlessly expresses itself in the world whether through being love or beauty or stillness which then manifests in the physical world through painting or playing the piano or inventing things or discovering new planets or building a business.

There are no limits to the expressing of life……

When we only value ourselves as human doings we need why’s to fill the void created by the loss of ourselves as human beings.

It’s a bottomless pit.

We live in such a fast paced and demanding world these days that many people feel more like human doings than human beings.

It’s why we feel off, empty, disconnected and uneasy.

We live in our heads and deep down we mourn the loss of not following our hearts.

From this perspective we desperately need a why to fill the void, to give us a sense of purpose, to give us some type of solidity as we feel caste adrift from our true innate being.

It’s hard, it’s lonely and it sucks.

We’ve never been told that the meaning of life is to be alive.

As such, we innocently overlook the wonders and magic around us daily.

We look to the future for our salvation.

The seeking of a why is part of that future salvation paradigm.

As Alan said, we are rushing around in a great panic trying to fill the void, believing if we became something beyond ourselves then we’d be at peace and then we’d feel complete.

I’ve got news for you because I’ve done this often enough myself ie adhering to the achiever paradigm - it doesn’t work if it doesn’t include the expression of your natural essence, spirit and aliveness!

That’s the endless hamster wheel.

But that’s not our true why as a human.

Let’s loop back to where we started:

"The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. 

And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves." – Alan Watts

My invitation to you…

This coming week what if you were to take some quiet time to sense into your innate “why”. It’s always been there so it’s not something you need to create or invent.

I fully suspect, as you’re all super smart, that your mind will want to try to figure it out and overlook the blindingly obvious and/or not accept it as grand enough.

So, I dare you to also ask others what walks into the room with you when you walk in?

What quality or essence?

Often it’s easier to see it in others than ourselves. Right?

Notice how that expresses itself in your life - hint - you’ll usually feel on point when you’re aligned ie this innate essence, this “why” flowing out into the world at work or at home or at play.

It’s effortless - it’s your innate nature.

Just see what’s already naturally there.

You can’t get this wrong!!!

You only need to be willing to be curious and to look to what’s natural and obvious to you.

May you re-discover the joy and wonder of simply being alive. This is your why.

Thank you from the rest of us for being here!

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